Why Marriages Succeed or Fail So why do marriages succeed or fail?
How negativity is hurting marriages We have all fallen into the trap of escalating negativity at one time or another. Someone says something negative, and so we say something negative back, and each person starts saying worse and worse things and a simple statement ends up turning into a major argument over basically nothing. If this happens regularly it can erode the marriage and make it so that communication is no longer happening in a useful manner. Over time the arguments might get worse and worse, and someone will start threatening to end the marriage. Something like this can help to determine why marriages succeed or fail, as small as it might seem. Nobody wants to always be arguing, and we don't want to hear a lot of nasty comments from the people who are supposed to love us the most. Another aspect of negativity that helps to determine why marriages succeed or fail is whether or not one or both partners discredit the other. Although it is not always intentional, when you put down the way the other person feels or thinks, or their character in general, it really brings about negative feelings in the other person. Sometimes you might directly say that what they are thinking or feeling is stupid, or makes no sense. Other times you might do this through sarcastic comments (which might be meant as jokes, but they hurt nonetheless). Either way, this will really hurt the person and make them feel bad. Eventually they will get tired of putting up with the put downs and want to get out of a marriage that is no longer working for them. Don't jump to conclusions It is also important that you don't jump to conclusions about why someone says or does something. Some people have a tendency to jump to negative conclusions and misinterpret the words and actions of others. If you are so set in your negative idea of why your partner is doing something that you don't listen to and believe their explanations, eventually your partner will give up. They might get so tired of your negativity that they decide that it is time for them to leave. Take the case of a holiday visit to relatives. You might be worried that a trip will be too expensive, or maybe that your boss won't give you enough time off for the trip, so you suggest maybe you should skip it one year. Your wife might decide that you are doing this because you hate her relatives, and start accusing you of this or other negative things, regardless of what you say to her. Eventually you will give up on trying to set her straight since it is obvious she is not listening. This can drive a real wedge into your marriage, especially if it keeps happening over different circumstances whenever you might not be enthusiastic about what she plans. Final word on negativity Finally, those that often have to deal with the negativity of their spouses might resort to avoidance and withdrawal. This is another of the things that help to determine whether marriages succeed or fail. Once a person gets tired of always fighting or always being put down, they start to try to avoid any situation or conversation where this might occur. When it is not possible to avoid the problem, they will start to withdraw. They might get quiet or look away when a negative conversation or argument is started, or they might even resort to just agreeing to whatever you say or leaving the room. If any of the above problems are present in your marriage, you should start trying to change the situation. These are the things that tend to determine whether marriages succeed or fail, and you obviously want yours to succeed. It is never too late to make changes that could alter the future of your relationship. Read the Save the Marriage review or visit Save the Marriage
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